Nantucket Dumpster Chronicles 10: Signs

The Dumpster Chronicles: A Whimsical and Irreverent Guide to Nantucket, Being Part 10

Signs
By Kerry Hallam

Signage has always fascinated me. I remember when I was young seeing a sign on a local farmer’s land which read:

DO NOT THROW STONES AT THIS SIGN

Another beauty was the sign posted on a ford (not the make of a car, but a road crossing a small stream). Well, of course the stream became a gushing river in the rainy season which, in England, is most of the time. The sign read:

DO NOT CROSS WHEN SIGN SUBMERGED

The odious sign in a boarding house in London during my University days read:

ROOMS TO RENT, NO NORTHERNERS NEED APPLY

The sign in a local pub read:

NO BLIND DOGS ALLOWED IN SALOON

It does make you wonder about the mentality of the people who dream up this kind of signage.

Railways were always a good place for hunting:

PLEASE LOWER YOUR HEAD WHEN LEAVING THE SEAT (Why?)

TICKETS MAY BE OBTAINED AT THE TICKET OFFICE

THE TRAIN NOW STANDING AT PLATFORM SIX IS THE TEN THIRTY TO ALDERSHOT WHICH WILL LEAVE FROM PLATFORM EIGHT

Road signs can be hilarious:

SLOW WORK ZONE

But I think I have found one that takes the cake at our Local Building Department’s offices on Washington Street. It’s actually two signs on a post just inside by the roadway. It reads:

ENTRANCE ONLY

DO NOT ENTER


Previous Columns

Kerry Hallam was born and raised in the North of England. He was elected to the Royal Society of Artists and later established his first studio in the South of France. Kerry has lived and painted on the island for the past thirty years. He is represented internationally by Chalk and Vermilion of Greenwich, and has held extensive one man shows in the States, Japan, France and the U.K. His autobiography ‘Getting to Nantucket’ was recently published, and in the past few years, he has issued seven C.D.’s of own written and performed music. All illustrations are by Kerry Hallam. This column will appear regularly.

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